sleepy

I hope Chris slept well. I did not.

Despite bone crunching tiredness, and the vision of trying to get up @ 4.30am, I was still awake at midnight.

Course, the sore back didn't help, and nor did the stress of trying to find a flatmate, and thinking about having to pay 2 lots of rent if I don't find someone today.

I wish I was a person who could sleep normally. I'm not sure what I mean by 'normally', but I guess the exact opposite of how I sleep.

I can function (not necessarily well) on about 5-6 hours a night. For about a week. And then I'll crash and sleep for 18 hours. I would love to sleep 8 hours a night on a regular basis.

Imagine not being constantly tired.

But, even when my body is so tired, lifting my head off the pillow feels like running a marathon, my brain just won't switch off.

And you know what? My brain is annoying.

It's why I read so much, purely for the purposes of shutting up my head. I read in the bath, and on the treadmill, in bed, during tv ads. When I'm walking somewhere, I talk on my phone, cos then I don't have to 'think' quite so much.

It's not that I don't want to think. It's just that even I get bored of the sound of my own voice occasionally. And then I start thinking, how do I even have friends? Why do they put up with me? Shut up Megan.

What am I complaining about? I can't turn my brain off. I am, quite obviously, ridiculous.

I have tried meditating. Can't. New age-y visualisation. Bored now. My mind always comes back to whatever it is I'm mulling over, and I lie there, begging myself to shut up, and go to sleep.

And when there's someone else there? I just can't stop talking.


"Shut up and go to sleep" could be my new catchphrase (although it's not the fake banana). Or my epitaph.


And that's Epi-TAA, people, not Epitaff (Number 7 on my list of pet peeves - closely followed by the way Eddie McGuire says millionaire.)

And that's the kind of thing I think about, too - not 'what am I doing with my life' and 'will I ever find love'. It's occasionally, 'man I'm broke', and general angsty guilt. But most often, it's 'why does that annoying woman on tv pronounce jewellery as jurry?'. And 'Whatever happpened to that show with the kid detectives? That was cool.' I'm lame.

Incidentally, does anyone (other than me and my brother, who seemed to grow up in a alternate TV reality) remember a show called, I think, The Lost Islands? Or possibly Island. These kids (maybe, could have been grown ups) were stranded on this island, with an evil tribe - or possibly other ship-wrecked people. There was a really menacing man, and a scary theme tune.

OK, so I just googled it, and it did exist (phew, maybe tonight I'll be able to sleep). I'm even remembering it right. Kind of a precursor to Lost. Of course now I'm going to have the creepy theme song in my head all day.

Anyway, cos of the four hours sleep last night, my eyes are sore, and focusing on the screen is starting to hurt, so happy Sunday, all.