not-sleeping beauty

9.30pm: Arrive home from work and rugby watching.

10.00pm: Crawl into bed, read for about 20 minutes to 'relax'.

10.25pm: Switch off light.

11.00pm: Admit defeat. Wander around house. Make tea. Turn on television. Discover Robocop. Laugh maniacally.

11.30pm: Go back to bed marvelling at how far film technology has come in 19 years.

12.30am: Flatmate comes home. Consider getting up to chat and realise have to be up four work in 4 hours, so reconsider.

1.00am: Wonder if WILL EVER SLEEP AGAIN. Consider switching on radio, because if nothing else, radio commentary of football world cup should aid sleep.

2.30am: Wake up. Rejoice cos have slept! Realise upstairs neighbours have arrived home.

4.01am: Wake up - rejoice, but feeling slightly uneasy. Realise have been woken by earthquake. Lie awake for 5 minutes, wondering if another is on way.

4.30am: Alarm goes off. Think, and possibly say out loud, "you have got to be f--king joking."

4:55am: Leave house. Without breakfast, lunch and gym bag.

4.58am: Car toots and waves as drives past. Wonder if perhaps sleep depravation has resulted in dressing mishap. Realise car occupants possibly think am doing walk of shame. Smirk to self.

5:15am: Plan blog post in head. Cannot stop thinking in short, subject-less sentences.

8.14am: Tell boss I am not in the mood to be told off for not doing something no one has ever told me to do.

8.16am: Wonder if can have a nap in the sick bay.

8.18am: Wonder what time citystop opens for much needed V and pie purchase.